The Case of the Digital Ghost

The Dilemma: He’s viewing all my stories within minutes of me posting them, but he hasn't replied to my text in two days. Why is he present in my "views" but absent in my inbox? Am I overthinking this?

The Response: Oh, sweetie. I hear you, and I want to start by saying: your frustration is completely valid. Welcome to "Digital Purgatory," population: you and everyone else who has ever tried to find logic in a thumb-scroller's brain.

There is a specific kind of "modern anxiety" that comes from seeing someone be digitally present while remaining relationally absent. It’s a psychological mind-game. When you see his name pop up in your "views," it feels like a tap on the shoulder. It keeps the wound open. You think, “Well, if he had time to see what I had for lunch, surely he had time to answer my question about Friday night?” It feels like a withdrawal of care, and it’s natural to feel unsettled by that inconsistency.

When we feel someone pulling away, our instinct is to "solve" the mystery. We become digital detectives, looking for a "deeper reason" or a hidden trauma that might be keeping him from his keyboard. We do this because the alternative—that he just isn't that interested—feels like a rejection of our worth.

But let’s be extremely real for a moment.

Watching an Instagram story requires the same amount of intellectual effort as blinking. It’s a passive, Pavlovian habit born of boredom, not a conscious effort to connect. Replying to a message, however, requires a decision and a tiny bit of emotional labor. By viewing your content but ignoring your text, he is sending a very clear, very loud signal: He likes the content you produce, but he isn't currently prioritizing the person you are.

Your friends are tired of hearing about this because the answer is so simple it’s boring: He didn't text back because he didn't want to. It’s time to stop building a shrine to the "Maybe He’s Stressed" narrative. If he were truly overwhelmed, a dinner with someone he actually liked would be the cure, not another chore on his to-do list. His inability to communicate says everything about his emotional maturity—or lack thereof—and absolutely nothing about your value.

The Abby Reality Check:

You are looking for clarity in a place where he is offering only ambiguity. You’re currently performing for a crowd of one who hasn’t even bought a ticket. You are treating him like a protagonist while he is treating you like a commercial break.

Instead of asking, "Why is he doing this?" try asking yourself: "Do I actually want to be with someone who makes me feel like I have to audition for a reply?" Give yourself the closure he isn't giving you by choosing to stop waiting. Put the phone face down, delete the draft in your notes app, and go live your life in real-time. You’re a main character, not a background extra in his mindless scrolling.

It’s time you started acting like it. You're the prize, honey.